Corn & Peg's Hayride of Horror
by Merickson
Summary: In do-gooding screenplay format.


EXT. WOODS - BIKE PATH - EVENING

A female TEENAGE UNICORN wearing a prom dress emerges from  
the trees on one side of the path. A male TEENAGE PEGASUS  
wearing a football uniform emerges on the other side.

TEENAGE UNICORN  
This isn't the prom!

TEENAGE PEGASUS  
This isn't the game!

TEENAGE UNICORN  
Oh well. Wanna make out?

TEENAGE PEGASUS  
Okay!

The Teenage Pegasus throws off his helmet and flies across  
the path to the Teenage Unicorn, and they start making out.

TEENAGE PEGASUS/UNICORN  
Mmm!

The sound of a chainsaw firing up blares from above. The two  
teenagers turn their heads upward in surprise -

Before they can react, LEATHERMUZZLE, a grimy horse wearing a  
feedbag made of flesh, drops from a tree and slams the blade  
of a chainsaw down lengthwise across both of their faces.

LEATHERMUZZLE  
(screaming)  
Aaaaaggggghhhhh!

The teenagers' bodies shake violently - blood spraying as  
their heads are sawed in half - then collapse limply to the  
ground. Leathermuzzle raises his chainsaw victoriously.

LEATHERMUZZLE  
Aaaaaggggghhhhh!

CAPTAIN THUNDERHOOF appears in a burst of light several yards  
up the path.

CAPTAIN THUNDERHOOF  
Leathermuzzle!

Leathermuzzle stares at Captain Thunderhoof in confusion.

LEATHERMUZZLE  
Agh?

CAPTAIN THUNDERHOOF  
It's rude to cut someone's head in  
half without asking! And what did  
I tell you about making feedbags  
out of dead bodies? You're getting  
a time-out!

LEATHERMUZZLE  
Uh... Aaaaaggggghhhhh!

He charges at her with his chainsaw.

CAPTAIN THUNDERHOOF  
My Guillotine Blade of Goodness  
will settle you down!

Captain Thunderhoof conjures a floating, sparkling guillotine  
blade out of thin air. It flies straight at Leathermuzzle  
and slices his head clean off, blood gushing from the neck  
stump as his body falls on his own chainsaw.

CAPTAIN THUNDERHOOF  
Now apologize!

CUT TO:

INT. CORN & PEG'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY

CORN and PEG are sitting on the couch in their Captain  
Thunderhoof costumes, watching the previous scene on TV.

CORN/PEG  
Yay Captain Thunderhoof!

The doorbell rings.

CORN  
Oh boy, the doorbell!

They run to the door, and Peg opens it to reveal Captain  
Thunderhoof standing on the porch, looking very worried.

CORN/PEG  
Captain Thunderhoof!

CAPTAIN THUNDERHOOF  
Hi, Corn and Peg.

PEG  
We just watched your latest  
Hallowhinny special!

CORN  
Yeah, it was the best one yet!

Captain Thunderhoof sighs.

CAPTAIN THUNDERHOOF  
Thank you, but the next one may not  
be so great.

PEG  
Why do you say that?

CAPTAIN THUNDERHOOF  
I was talking with the executives  
at Nickerlodeon, and they say they  
aren't going to hire Tom Savineigh  
for next year's special.

CORN/PEG  
Whaaat?!

CORN  
But Tom Savineigh has done the gore  
effects for all your Hallowhinny  
specials!

PEG  
Yeah, he's the master of the craft!

CAPTAIN THUNDERHOOF  
I know, but the budget for  
practical effects is getting  
slashed. They want to do  
everything with CGI, like they did  
with the vomit blood in "Twinkle  
Piggy's Possession Party."

CORN  
Oh no!

PEG  
That's terrible!

CAPTAIN THUNDERHOOF  
I don't know what to do. Do you  
two have any ideas?

CORN/PEG  
(thinking)  
Hmmmm.

PEG  
I know! We could do a hayride to  
raise money!

CORN  
Yeah! Then we could save it and  
give it to Tom Savineigh to do the  
effects for next year's special!

Captain Thunderhoof brightens up.

CAPTAIN THUNDERHOOF  
That's a great idea! Thank you,  
Corn and Peg! I must be going now.  
A good deed probably needs to be  
done somewhere. Goodbye!

Captain Thunderhoof launches herself off the porch up into  
the sky.

CORN/PEG  
Goodbye, Captain Thunderhoof!

CORN  
All right, Peg. Ready to get to  
work?

PEG  
I sure am, Corn! 'Cause what do we  
do?

CORN/PEG  
We do good!

Corn and Peg high-hoof each other.

CORN/PEG  
Do-gooders unite! Here! We! Go!

[INSERT "DO-GOOD" SONG]

CUT TO:

EXT. WOODS - DAY

FERRIS and FERDY sit in a hay cart, eager looks on their  
faces. Peg flies down and lands on a log.

PEG  
Ferris and Ferdy, welcome to a free  
test run on the Hayride of Horror!

FERRIS  
Thunderrific!

Ferdy bounces in his seat excitedly.

FERDY  
Haywite of Hohwa!

PEG  
Now, we have to be careful because  
these woods are haunted by the  
ghost of -

A dummy made of a pillow-stuffed plaid shirt and a filled  
water balloon with a happy face drawn on it in marker for a  
head rises up from behind the log.

CORN (O.S.)  
(deep voice)  
Hi there!

PEG  
Oh no! It's Dead Dan!

FERRIS/FERDY  
Yay!

CORN (O.S.)  
(deep voice)  
You're all gonna die in these  
woods!

FERRIS/FERDY  
Yay!

Hidden behind the dummy, Corn is holding it up.

CORN  
(deep voice)  
Just like I did when I was walking  
on this very spot and got a really  
bad headache.

Corn pops (hehe) the balloon with his horn. The bursting  
balloon splatters ketchup all over the dummy. Ferris and  
Ferdy laugh uproariously.

CORN  
(deep voice)  
Then I had a heart attack.

Corn blows on the end of a rubber hose going into the dummy's  
back. Spaghetti explodes out of the front of the shirt.

FERDY  
Pasghetti!

Ferdy leaps from the cart onto the dummy and eats the  
spaghetti, causing the dummy to fall sideways on the log,  
making Corn visible.

CORN  
Ta-da!

Ferris claps.

FERRIS  
That was great! What's next?

CORN/PEG  
(to each other)  
Uhh...

PEG  
That's it.

CORN  
Yeah, that's all we got.

Ferris blinks, befuddled.

FERRIS  
That's all? What about this cart?  
Does it even move?

CORN/PEG  
(to each other)  
Uhh-

FERRIS  
I don't think a Hayride of Horror  
that isn't a hayride and only has  
one horror is going to make very  
much money.

Peg sighs.

PEG  
He's right, Corn.

CORN  
But we already put up all the  
fliers that say we're opening  
tonight. We need to think of  
something fast.

FERRIS  
Wait, where's Ferdy?

Corn, Peg and Ferris look around. Ferdy has disappeared.

FERDY (O.S.)  
Hey! Ober 'ere!

CORN/PEG/FERRIS  
Ferdy!

They rush off, following Ferdy's voice into a dense thicket  
of trees, where they find him jumping in place.

FERDY  
'Ere! 'Ere!

Lying on the ground next to Ferdy are the prop bodies of  
Teenage Pegasus and Teenage Unicorn, their heads sawed in  
half, covered in dried fake blood.

FERDY  
I fown det boties!

PEG  
It's the fake bodies that were used  
in this year's Hallowhinny special!

CORN  
You're right, Peg!

Ferris notices something under a bush and lifts up some of  
the branches, uncovering another prop - a severed horse head  
with corkscrews jammed its eyes.

FERRIS  
Here's another one!

CORN  
That's from last year's special!

Peg holds up a cardboard box full of bloody hooves.

PEG  
And the one before that!

CORN  
What are all these doing out here?

A van backs in through a clearing across from the group.

PEG  
Hide!

The four quickly hide behind a tree as the van comes to a  
stop. They watch as the driver's-side door opens and TOM  
SAVINEIGH, a goateed horse, steps out. Corn and Peg gasp.

CORN/PEG  
Tom Savineigh!

TOM SAVINEIGH  
Huh?

Corn and Peg spring out of hiding and run up to Tom.

CORN  
Oh...my...Thunderhoof! It's really  
you! I can't believe it!

PEG  
We love your work, Mr. Savineigh!

TOM SAVINEIGH  
Oh, thanks a bunch! It's always  
nice to meet fans.

A smiling Ferris walks up, Ferdy bouncing happily behind him.

FERRIS  
Look, Ferdy! It's Tom Savineigh!

FERDY  
Dom Sabeenay!

TOM SAVINEIGH  
Hi there! So is there a party in  
the woods today or somethin'?

PEG  
We were working on our Hayride of  
Horror.

Corn looks around at the props.

CORN  
Um, what are you doing out here,  
Mr. Savineigh?

TOM SAVINEIGH  
Well, I'm gonna have to start  
living in my van soon, so I have no  
choice but to dump all my old props  
in the woods.

CORN/PEG  
Whaaat?!

TOM SAVINEIGH  
Even my blood barrels.

Tom opens the back of his van, revealing several large  
barrels inside.

PEG  
Wow, that's a lot of blood!

TOM SAVINEIGH  
No one wants to hire me to do  
practical effects anymore.

CORN  
We know! That's why we're doing a  
hayride to raise money so you can  
keep working on Captain  
Thunderhoof's Hallowhinny specials!

TOM SAVINEIGH  
Really? That's so nice of you!

PEG  
But...our hayride isn't so  
Thunderrific.

CORN  
Oh. Yeah.

Corn and Peg look down dispiritedly. Then, their eyes light  
up as smiles break out on their faces.

CORN  
Wait.

They turn to each other.

CORN  
Peg, are you thinking what I'm  
thinking?

PEG  
Abso-Thunderhoof-ly!

Corn and Peg do their "left-right-hey-pachow" routine.

CUT TO:

POV - Looking at a video playing on a phone held by a hoof.

ON PHONE:

In a dance hall, a group of PIG PRIESTS wearing party hats  
stand in a row, holding up crucifixes. Lights flash overhead  
as pop music plays.

PIG PRIESTS  
Let the power of Oinkhrist compel  
you! Let the power of Oinkhrist  
compel you!

TWINKLE PIGGY, also wearing a party hat, is floating in the  
air in front of the Pig Priests, her eyes glowing red. She  
screeches demonically, then vomits pixelated CG blood on the  
Pig Priests.

OFF PHONE:

The hoof holding the phone moves it out of view, revealing a  
prop horse head behind it that vomits fake blood right at us.

END POV TO REVEAL:

EXT. WOODS - NIGHT

The blood splashes on CLARISSA and the POSIES sitting in the  
hay cart, which now has SHERIFF SWIFTSTONE harnessed to the  
front of it. The surrounding area is lit up with orange  
string lights in the trees.

The Posies cheer enthusiastically as Clarissa thoughtfully  
considers both the horse head and the video on her phone.

CLARISSA  
Hmm.  
(smiles)  
They're right. Practical effects  
really are better than CGI!

SHERIFF SWIFTSTONE  
All right, horror hayriders, next  
up, probably more blood!

CLARISSA/POSIES  
Yay!

Over in a nearby area, Corn and Peg stand next to a booth  
where Tom Savineigh is signing autographs for a long line of  
fans. The next autographee, MAYOR MONTAGU, steps up.

CORN/PEG  
How do, Mayor Montagu?

MAYOR MONTAGU  
I must say, this is the best  
hayride event I've seen in all my  
days as mayor of Galloping Grove!

CORN/PEG  
Thanks!

CORN  
It sure was nice of Sheriff  
Swiftstone to volunteer to pull the  
hay cart.

PEG  
And thank you for letting us have  
your props, Mr. Savineigh!

TOM SAVINEIGH  
This is perfect! My old props can  
be put to good use, and I can make  
extra money signing autographs!

Captain Thunderhoof flies down.

CORN/PEG  
Captain Thunderhoof!

CAPTAIN THUNDERHOOF  
I just talked to the Nickerlodeon  
executives. They say as long as  
they're not the ones paying for it,  
Tom can keep doing the effects for  
my specials!

CORN/PEG  
Awe-Thunderhoof-some!

TOM SAVINEIGH  
And it's all thanks to the best do  
gooders ever, Corn and Peg!

Corn and Peg high-hoof.

PEG  
We did good, Corn.

CORN  
We sure did, Peg.

The stuffed plaid shirt rolls itself in front of Corn and  
Peg. Ferdy bursts from the chest covered in spaghetti.

FERDY  
(to camera)  
Appy Allowhimmy!

THE END


End file.
